Pregnancy can be pretty tricky. Some couples can get pregnant spontaneously without much planning or effort. For others, the journey can be challenging and rocky. With different infertility issues ranging from secondary infertility(1) to unexplained infertility (2), pregnancy can be a difficult goal to achieve. So how to stay positive when everyone is getting pregnant but you?
Staying positive can be easier said than done. The combination of the pressure around conceiving and failed positive pregnancy tests can be difficult to handle. We list some tips that you can find to help you stay positive as you tread the challenging but fulfilling journey toward parenthood.
In This Article
- Why Am I Unable to Conceive?
- Top 15 Ways to Stay Positive When Everyone Else is Getting Pregnant But You
- FAQ’s
Why Am I Unable to Conceive?
Procreation is a natural and one of the most important processes for human beings. Reproduction is a complex procedure, which, unfortunately, can become more complicated for a few individuals. This could be due to a multitude of reasons including medical issues (3) and stress.
Yes, stress itself is capable of robbing one of fertility! (4) The conservative society adds to this inconvenience by taunting couples who fail to conceive within a few months of marriage. It is quite natural to feel disappointed when your friends complain about improper sleep due to a baby and you are trying hard to conceive.
In such situations, staying positive becomes very important not only to ensure your peace of mind but also to improve your chances of conceiving despite the odds (5). So how to stay positive when everyone is getting pregnant but you?
Pregnancy is an extremely sensitive issue and negative thoughts can affect your chances of conceiving negatively. A positive attitude will bring positive news! Below are a few tips to keep your spirit high and let you sail smoothly till your pregnancy test comes back positive.
Top 15 Ways to Stay Positive When Everyone Else is Getting Pregnant But You
Pregnancy planning marks a major change in one’s life, and if it takes longer than you expected, disappointment is sure to creep in even the most lovable and close couples. The key is to understand that you are a team and refrain from blaming each other. You should maintain sanity and respect for each other and be the support system. Always remember: It takes 2 to make a baby.
Here are a few things you must factor in before getting disappointed.
1. Educate Yourself
There is science behind the entire process of conception, which includes menstruation, ovulation, fertilization, etc (6). Yes, making babies is not as easy as rolling in bed. Having sex with knowledge about your ovulation cycle is likely to increase the chances of nailing it (7). Read more, know more, and plan more!
[Read More: What are some ovulation symptoms to get pregnant?]
[Read More: How To Detect Fertility Period With Cervical Mucus?]
2. Don’t Ignore The Pain or Sadness
Realize that it is quite natural for you to feel sad, unfair, and hurt. For a short time, accept the pain and feel bad. While this might sound like a strange tip, accepting and feeling your hurt for a short time is much better than denying and bottling it up for a longer time. Accept and move on.
3. Throw The Guilt Out of The Window
Do not think that you waited too long to try. Do not think that karma is catching up with you for aborting a child previously when you were not ready or taking contraceptive pills. Life doesn’t take revenge like that! You are just someone – like scores of others – who are all trying to be a mother.
4. Keep The Love And Romance Alive
Do not have sex just to make a baby, keep your spark ignited! Do not concentrate just on the reproduction aspect, enjoy the moments with your partner. The inability to conceive may put undue pressure on your sex life, sometimes resulting in sexual dysfunctions (8).
[Read More: Sex Position to Conceive a Baby]
5. Do Not Stress About it
Easier said than done! No matter how hard you try, this is going to linger in your mind, so let it be, just try pushing it to the back of your mind. Stress produces hormones that are capable of interfering with fertility (9). Try to calm down and stay happy.
6. Do The Things That You Like
Instead of fretting about days left for your period when you can take a pregnancy test, it’s best to go on as usual with your everyday routine. Go to work, meet friends, chill, relax, and pass the time without any worries. If you keep yourself occupied, then the countdown won’t bother you. Find new things to do. Engage yourself in a new hobby or find a new one. Read. Travel. Do some DIY home improvement projects. Bake. Anything that will help you to stay positive and happy.
[Read More: Top Healthy Pregnancy Tips To Conceive Fast]
7. Feel Happiness For Others
It is natural to feel a bit unfair when your friends and cousins talk about getting pregnant as if it were a walk in the park. If you want to avoid a baby shower or two, it is quite understandable. But do not garner negativity in your mind. Remember, it will be your turn to get pregnant soon
8. Be realistic
Do not expect to get pregnant in the first trial. Although that does happen, statistics show that only about 30% of women get pregnant during the first month of trying (10). 60% of women get pregnant in six months and about 90% in 18 months. So, if age is on your side, you have nothing to worry about for the first 1.5 years
9. Stay healthy
Exercise regularly, eat healthy on time, and sleep enough. No point in ruining your health worrying about not getting pregnant. That would just delay things further. Since you are trying to get pregnant, always keep yourself at your healthiest best, ready for the baby.
10. Meditate
Meditation is the best route to calm your nerves. It doesn’t mean sitting on a yoga mat with eyes shut and thinking about pregnancy! You need to divert your mind to shut out thoughts related to conception. Listen to music, keep calm, and concentrate on breathing and this should help increase your chances of getting pregnant (11).
11. Laugh
Laughter is the best medicine and an even better healer. Go for a funny movie, read a humorous novel, or just watch a comedy show. Keep the funny bone tickling
12. Keep an Open Communication With Your Partner
Your partner’s physical and emotional well-being is as important as yours. Talk to each other about your disappointment and find ways to relax together. Your stress may be building up on your spouse. After all, you are so close to each other. Make sure that both of you are on the same page when trying for a baby. And are tuned in to each other’s feelings.
13. Find Someone to Vent Out to
Most women prefer to talk out their feelings and fear to someone. This will clear your chest of burden. Who knows, your kin might offer some out-of-the-box advice that worked for her and helped speed up the process of making babies! Some people conceived naturally after decades of marriage, share, and listen, but make sure you are doing it with the right person!
14. Stop the obsession
Take a break. If you are getting obsessed with your ovulation cycle and planning scheduled sex, consider relaxing a bit. When you are too worried about getting pregnant, chances are you won’t. And when you stop trying so hard, sex becomes more about love and fun than getting pregnant, and your body might just surprise you by getting you pregnant! Never treat sex as a chore just to get pregnant. Shower some love, some romance, and a bit of spice, and your hormones will respond positively
15. Get help
If you have been trying for over 2 years, then don’t hesitate to consult a doctor – both for yourself and your partner. If you are over 35 years of age, then it is wise to see a doctor sooner and not wait for 2 years. Some of the factors that you need to be aware of for conceiving successfully are:
-
- Timing it right
- Understanding the age factor
- Managing any weight issues
- Maintaining a positive attitude
- Accepting the changes as a couple
So, how to stay positive when everyone is getting pregnant but you? Understand that infertility is perhaps settling in as a lifestyle problem of the current generation. It is very common not to conceive the first time you have sex. Some couples may take multiple tries to successfully conceive. It is suggested to consult an expert if you are unable to conceive even after 12 months if you are less than 35 years and after 6 months, for those over 35. Let nature take its course and things will come your way on their own. Do not stress and overthink. Enjoy your baby-free time, wear sexy clothes, go out on holiday, and spend time on yourself!
FAQ’s
1. How Do You Cope When Everybody Is Getting Pregnant But You?
It is important to understand that conception is not the same for everybody. Different couples take different times and different numbers of tries to get pregnant. Getting pregnant is dependent on a wide range of factors – both physiological and psychological. Let the process take its course. If you are worried, you can always consult a gynecologist or fertility specialist who will conduct the necessary tests and checks and let you know if any issues are preventing you from getting pregnant.
2. How To Not Get Upset About Others Being Pregnant When I Am Trying?
Being upset at others getting pregnant easily while you seem to be struggling is normal. Accepting this is the first step to deal with the situation. Understand that being sad and upset is normal. But that should not stop you from doing things that you like and taking care of yourself. Focus on your physical and mental health. Do everything in your control to help you achieve pregnancy. Let things take their course.
[Read Also: 10 Steps To Boost Your Pregnancy Chances In Thirties]
[Read Also: Planning A Pregnancy Post 35?]
References
- Factors associated with secondary infertility – [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/269564380_Factors_associated_with_secondary_infertility]
- Unexplained infertility: an update and review of practice – ScienceDirect – [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1472648312001459]
- Causes and Prevalence of Factors Causing Infertility in a Public Health Facility – PMC – [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6937760/]
- Stress and infertility in women: Is there a relationship? – Domar – 1996 – In Session: Psychotherapy in Practice – Wiley Online Library – [https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/(SICI)1520-6572(199622)2:2%3C17::AID-SESS3%3E3.0.CO;2-5]
- Lifestyle factors and reproductive health: taking control of your fertility – PMC – [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3717046/]
- The normal menstrual cycle in women – ScienceDirect – [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378432010004148]
- Physiology, Ovulation – Abstract – Europe PMC – [https://europepmc.org/article/nbk/nbk441996]
- The Association between Stress and Sexual Dysfunctionality in Men and Women: A Systematic Review – [https://www.scirp.org/journal/paperinformation?paperid=61250]
- Stress and other environmental factors affecting fertility in men and women: overview. | Environmental Health Perspectives – [https://ehp.niehs.nih.gov/doi/abs/10.1289/ehp.93101s259]
- ABC of subfertility: Extent of the problem – PMC – [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC188498/]
- Effects of Mind–Body Programs on Infertile Women: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials – ScienceDirect – [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1976131721000177]
