Many women who want to start a family find out that their husband is not ready for a baby. Why is the husband not ready for a baby when all the physical issues related to it are taken care of by the woman? Pregnancy is stressful for husbands and wives for different reasons. For a woman, pregnancy carries the apprehensions of personal safety, the baby’s safety, adapting to drastic body changes, and staying off work, among other things.
For a man, the primary deep concern is how to adapt to and balance all these changes. Besides, a man is usually accustomed to sex only at its amazing enjoyment value (which is totally valid for the woman also). But they don’t want it at the cost of carrying a growing human inside for nine months (which is invalid for a man)!
In This Article
Ascertain Why Does He Have “Baby Fear”
It could be apprehensions about changing lifestyle, or the mess and the responsibility having a baby brings. Legitimate financial worries are also paramount given the significant expenditure involved with pregnancy and subsequent upbringing of the child.
Wives need to understand these deep issues to handle them well and assure the husband that things will work out fine. All you have to do is to rely on the best logic that he will understand. He loves you. He is feeling unsecured, but that does not mean he does not love you!
Help your husband with the following tips.
1. Find The Cause
Your husband will do almost anything to deny that deep in his heart he is feeling very vulnerable and insecure about having a baby. However,
-
- Your husband is afraid of losing you because he has a deep fear of pregnancy complications, which can be fatal.
- Perhaps, he is feeling unsafe in the heart because now he can’t have your full attention (husbands are like children, most wives will agree)
- His insecurity may also stem from an overwhelming financial aspect. He can be as well thinking that it is not possible to manage the expenses of bringing the baby
- Some men are queasy at the prospects of pregnancy, even when they have to go through nothing of it
- Some men are downright complex and may suspect that the wife is having an affair and trying to convince him to be a father of someone else’s baby
2. Dig Out The Issue
The first thing you have to do is to dig out the issue and gently bring it into the discussion. As long as it is hidden under layers of manly ego, he won’t understand anything and deny everything you say. You need to alleviate the ego and the best way to do that is to explain how you are taking the superior responsibility. Look up pregnancy in detail from the resources online and share them with your husband.
3. Soften His Concerns
Once he gets to see how much of a massive responsibility it is, he may return to his senses and allow you to talk heart-to-heart. After you achieve this level of communication, you can easily soften his concerns. Mums also go to parties and have all fun! Being parents definitely does not mean forsaking the enjoyment of being adults!
4. Discuss
About financial concerns, you have to be practical here as well. If the finances do not allow the expenses, then please plan the conception afterward. Discussions between couples are not about winning or losing if you can keep the ego safely aside. It is always about arriving at the best decisions
5. Dream Your Baby Together
This is the best way for couples to be ready mutually to bring the baby. This should start early if possible. You need to let your husband know that having a baby is like a natural passage of rite for a woman. You have grown up with the dream of caring for your own child. Now share the same with your loving partner. Simple steps such as setting the computer’s desktop with a baby photo can actually go very long in being mentally ready for the responsibility.
There are a hundred different ways to dream! You can rent or buy children’s movies. You can talk about each other’s childhood. Share the experience of getting a baby doll for the first time when you were a child. In fact, you can also buy simple things related to a little child. Buy a beautiful teddy bear or any other nice soft toy. Buy a bed sheet with cute child-friendly designs. The options are limitless!
Communication Is The Key
As long as you are mincing words, or becoming too stressed with honest interactions, good communication is virtually impossible! So, you will definitely need to work on all these aspects. Nowadays, there are myriad avenues to communicate! You can talk via text messages, veiled social media updates, or even by email at first! Discuss and decide. Everything will be alright.
You will have to understand the exact reasons why your husband is not ready for the baby. Life is complicated nowadays, and unfortunately, there are many complex layers. Sometimes, it is plainly just the fact that your partner is totally not comfortable with babies. What is the reason for this? Think it out. Does he have a painful abusive memory from childhood? Was his own father not a good man at all? Is he having an affair and does not want the extra burden of being a parent? It can be anything! You will need to find it out with utmost clarity and act accordingly
