Disciplining a toddler is not always easy or quick. All parents find it challenging at some point and struggle to find the right way to discipline their toddlers without being too harsh or too lenient with them. When you are aware of some of the top disciplining strategies for your toddler, teaching good or bad behavior can be easier and more effective too.
We all grew up either despising or sympathizing with a parent whose kid misbehaves in public. Back then, you may have made a mental note that your kid wouldn’t be like this. Today, suddenly you become that pitied parent. Effective disciplining strategies work better than harsh punishments in such situations. Here we have the top 10 disciplining strategies for your toddler.
In This Article
- Why Should You Discipline a Toddler?
- Importance of Positive Discipline in Toddlers
- Top 10 Disciplining Strategies For Toddlers
- How Age Affects How You Discipline?
- FAQ’s
Why Should You Discipline a Toddler?
A toddler does not know or understand what is right or wrong. Their brain is still developing and they do not know how to control their emotions or impulses yet. It is important to teach them good and bad behavior so that they can grow into socially acceptable individuals. The discipline they learn at a young age can shape the person they become (1a). This does not mean all disciplining should be done at the toddler stage itself, but discipline at this age is very crucial.
Importance of Positive Discipline in Toddlers
While punishments may work out better or yield immediate results in some situations, the impact is most often not long-lasting. Such disciplining methods can not only be short-lived but can also trigger a rebellious response as your toddler grows up.
Positive discipline can help develop a healthy relationship with your toddler. Through positive discipline, your toddler can learn why a behavior is right or wrong. This will also help them adapt this discipline in other areas and continue to follow it even when they grow up. Positive discipline can set the right expectations around behavior and avoid unnecessary stress (1b).
Top 10 Disciplining Strategies For Toddlers
If you are used to harsh punishments and negative reinforcements as a child, it can be difficult to break the cycle as a parent. If you are willing to try different approaches to disciplining your toddler, here are some strategies for you-
1. Show And Tell
Patiently show your toddler what is unsafe behavior. You can show them the stove, iron, plug sockets, and anything sharp in the kitchen and tell them not to touch them as it is unsafe.
2. Set Limits
Set clear limits and maintain them no matter where you are, to avoid confusing your toddler. If they cannot throw a ball inside the house, it applies to all houses and not just your house or the grandparents’ house.
3. Give Consequences
If they are going to cry or scream in the supermarket to get some goodies, you can tell them the consequence will be walking out of the store altogether. When they realize their wrong behavior will not get them what they want, they will be discouraged from carrying on with that particular behavior.
4. Hear Them Out
No matter how trivial it may seem, pay attention to your toddler when they want to tell you something. When you hear them out, you are acknowledging their presence and listening to what they have to share. This gives them a sense of importance.
5. Give Them Your Attention
Toddlers love attention. They want all the attention and will do anything to get them because they still don’t understand what is right or wrong. When your toddler tugs at you, focus on them and give them your attention. This will prevent them from resorting to bad behaviors that are bound to get your attention.
6. Catch Them Being Good
Just like you catch them doing something bad, when they least expect it, catch them doing something good, and react to it too. Acknowledge the good behavior, like “Oh, that was nice of you to clean up after playing” or “It was very generous of you to share your toys”. This will help reinforce positive behavior (1c).
7. Know When Not to Respond
You don’t have to respond to every little thing your toddler does. Yes, it is easier said than done but remember, your toddler is looking for attention at this stage. Sometimes, when you don’t react or respond to certain behaviors, they will give up and move on. This can be more effective than repeatedly telling them a “No” (2).
8. Be Prepared For Trouble
When you start disciplining, be prepared for some pushback and trouble from your toddler. They are testing their limits and will react. Just be patient and firm.
9. Redirect Bad Behavior
If your toddler is having a hard time listening to you, redirect their attention to something else. Sometimes just a small distraction is all they need to break the action they are doing.
10. Call a Time-out
When your toddler is having a hard time controlling their emotions and is just not ready to listen to you, you may have to call a time-out. For example, if the breakdown happens during playtime, you may have to remove your toddler from the place and take them elsewhere. This can help break the behavior and also give them time to cool down before you take them back (1d).
How Age Affects How You Discipline?
The way you discipline your toddler will depend on various factors including their age. Remember, a toddler’s brain is still developing and the way you teach them or discipline them should pertain to their age, or else it won’t be effective.
a) 18-Month-Old
At this stage, they are curious about everything around them and their own abilities as well. They still can’t follow complicated instructions or remember everything you teach them. You need to repeat yourself multiple times before they can commit it to their memory (1e).
b) 2-Year-Old
At this stage, their motor skills are well improved and they will try to jump, run, and reach out for items they have specifically kept away. Stopping them can cause frustration and even meltdowns. Showing them the consequences of their behavior soon after they do it can be an impactful method of disciplining (1f).
c) 3-Year-Old
At this stage, toddlers are more verbal and can understand instructions well. Getting down to their level, looking at them eye-to-eye and giving them instructions or teaching them good behavior can have a better impact than just saying no to everything. Rewarding their positive behavior can also work out well for some toddlers (1g).
Disciplining a toddler is not an easy task. It can be very exhausting for some parents. Every parenting journey is different and what works for one parent in a particular situation need not work for all. You may have to use more than one strategy for some situations. Remember, toddlers’ brains are still developing and you need to be patient when disciplining them.
FAQ’s
1. How Do You Discipline a Toddler Who Doesn’t Listen?
Yelling instructions from across the room will not work. Get close to them, bend down to their height, look into their eyes, and talk to them. When you give them your full attention, you can get a better response from them.
2. What is The Right Way to Discipline a Toddler?
The right way to discipline a toddler is to be gentle, firm, and patient with them. Each parent has their way of disciplining their toddler, so the approach is very subjective. There is no one size fits all, when it comes to toddlers.
3. At What Age Do Toddlers Start Listening?
Toddlers start listening when they are about 1 year old. The age can differ from toddler to toddler. Some can listen well at this age and some may need a little more time before they follow through with what you tell them.
4. Why is My 2-Year-Old Misbehaving So Much?
A 2-year-old is just learning about their abilities and testing their limits. They are trying to understand the world around them in their way. They still don’t understand right or wrong. So, what is “misbehaving” to an adult is just exploring for them.
Reference:
- Effective discipline for children -[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2719514/]
- Discipline and Guidance From 2 to 5 Years – [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/325069530]
