Is It Alright To Have Sex In The Same Room Where The Baby Is Sleeping?

Q: How do Couples Co-Sleeping With Their Babies Have Sex?

You can move the baby to a floor bed. You could move to the floor. You can also step out to another room.

There are two extremely opposing views on this topic. One group of people think that it is alright to have sex in the same room where the baby is. Their arguments are as follows. Many families, especially in our parents’ generation, lived in single bedroom houses. Even if there were other bedrooms, co-sleeping with the babies has been a norm. So how were they having sex? Clearly, in the same room as babies. And despite this, as kids, we were never traumatized about it. Secondly, no one is talking about having sex when the children are awake! Parents definitely make sure kids are deep in slumber before getting on the act.

Is it Common For Parents to Make Love in the Same Room the Baby is?

We at being the parent believe that while it may not be an “ideal” situation, it definitely does not amount to child abuse, especially in India. Furthermore, Swedish research has claimed that one in every three mothers has sex when either the child is sleeping in the same room or in the same bed. This so happens because of:

1. Lack of Space

A good majority of us live in a single bedroom house. Even if we have two bedrooms, the second bedroom is usually occupied by parents. Having sex in the living room or another area is out of the question if grandparents are present in the house as well.

2. Lack of Privacy

The second reason why it is more prevalent in India is the parenting style. Most of us sign goodbyes to our privacy when we have children. The kids sleep in the same room as parents until they are quite older (as compared to western countries where sometimes even babies have separate nurseries or at the best the kids are moved to a separate room by the time they are 4).

So, no parent is having sex in the same room as their children for fun. They do it because there is a lack of space and privacy. And they are out of options.

What if a Baby Sees the Parents Making Love?

That said, while it is not child abuse, if a baby does witness his/her parents having sex, it can impact their psyche. The magnitude and consequences of this impact depend largely on the child’s age. But, generally, the impact could be:

Smaller kids do not understand what is happening. They get scared or frightened, thinking their dad is trying to harm or kill their mom.
Bigger kids understand what is happening. It is known to make them (especially girls) develop an aversion to sex.
Some kids have admitted, much to their own horror, about thinking about their parents’ acts while they masturbate.

[Read: Sex Life After Childbirth]

So Should We Shift to Another Room to Have Sex?

So, obviously, if you have an option of a different private room in your house, we would urge you to avoid having sex in the same room where the baby is sleeping to use that for having sex. But if you do not, take a few precautions. Make sure your baby is really, truly asleep. If it helps, turn them to the other side. That way, even if they open their eyes in between, they wouldn’t see anything. And if they do turn, you get a precious few seconds to cover up. And finally, if they do wake up and ask you what is going on, have a smart excuse ready!!

Another benefit of having sex in the other room is having all the space for you as a couple. Sometimes, your partner can feel that you are always occupied with the baby and do not give him enough space. And when there is a ‘hush hush’ whisper on every moan of pleasure, it can take away all the enjoyment of sex.

If you do have more bedrooms in your house, it is better to use one of those in the nights for having sex so that the baby does not see anything accidentally. It is also a good idea to make your baby independent by slowly and gradually urging them to sleep in their own rooms.

[Read: When Can I Let My Baby Sleep Alone?]

Things to consider If Having Sex In The Same Room As A Baby

If you plan to have sex in the same room where the baby is sleeping, here are a few pointers you can keep in mind.

Make sure that your kid is in a secure place, a bassinet, or in a place where they won’t get disturbed.
Ensure that they are fast asleep so that you won’t have to worry about them seeing something.
If you have very young babies, you need not worry about having sex in the same room since they do not understand what is happening.
Remember that babies can sleep through anything so they won’t get disturbed.
If your kids are grown up enough to understand these things, you may need to find a private space.

Remember, if you have a happy and healthy sex life, then you are happier. If you are happier, you are better capable of taking care of your kids and can be better parents. Happier parents, happier kids.

Good luck!

FAQ’s

1. Can I Have Sex if my Baby is Sleeping in the Same Room?

It’s a personal choice. The verdict is split on this one. Do what suits you best.

2. How do Couples Co-Sleeping With Their Babies Have Sex?

You can move the baby to a floor bed. Or, you could move to the floor. You can also step out to another room.

3. Is it Morally Right to Have Sex When Your Baby is Sleeping Next to You?

There is nothing wrong with it. It’s a decision for you and your partner to take. Both of you have to be on the same page.

4. What if My Baby Sees Us Having Sex?

Handle it calmly. A tiny baby won’t understand. If it’s an older kid, sit and talk to them about what they saw.

Is It Alright To Have Sex In The Same Room Where The Baby Is Sleeping?

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