Top 10 Signs of Bad Parenting

To think of it, we all are guilty of “bad parenting” at one time or another. We have been hooked onto our phones, social media, or somewhere else while we should have been paying attention to our kids. Sleep deprivation and the demanding 24*7 jobs of taking care of a baby can leave most of us exhausted beyond our wits – making it hard to focus on the kids.

What is Bad Parenting?

As a society, we generally equate bad parenting with physical abuse and sexual abuse. In these circumstances, it is true that professional assistance should be sought immediately. However, parents may also do or say things that can, even unintentionally, negatively affect children beyond child abuse and neglect. This too falls under bad parenting. Being able to recognize whether you’re doing any of those things will help you for better parenting.

Having a bad moment isn’t the same as being a bad parent. For example, losing your temper every now and then is different from telling your child things like “I know better than you,” or “You’re wrong, I’m always right, etc. There are parents that don’t do what’s best for their kids. The obvious signs of poor parenting are domestic violence, physical violence, sexual abuse, neglect, emotional abuse, or excessive punishment of children.

Top 10 Signs of Bad Parenting

We have often turned our nose upwards when elders say that the current generation of parents does not how to raise a child. Let’s see what makes them say this:

1. No Rules, All Fun

Are you too carefree as a parent, giving your kids the power to decide everything? In such cases, kids become their own masters, going to bed late, getting up late, doing absolutely everything in their will. Owing to hectic lifestyles and both parents working, no one does the work of disciplining the kids as life has been already chaotic.

If this is how your kids live their lives, this is what they will do when they visit their aunt or cousin. They simply wouldn’t know how to behave appropriately. Discipline is the only way your kids grow up knowing right and wrong. And parents need to do some real hard work to raise kids who know how to behave properly.

There will be times when kids will test their parents by breaking rules, hence parents need to establish and clearly communicate the consequences of breaking those rules.

[Read: Discipline Without Spanking]

2. Raising Your Hands

If you scream or hit your kids, your kids will be afraid of you, detest you, and start disliking you. You are ultimately increasing the distance; this form of disciplining backfires in most cases. Kids subject to physical punishment may develop psychological problems during adolescence and even turn aggressive.

No matter what your instincts say, yet there is no study that states that there is any positive effect of hitting kids. You need to handle kids sensitively. Spanking the child for discipline is just not the way. Instead, talking it out reasonably with a child might enforce some positive outcome – screaming, hitting, or any other form of verbal or physical violence will simply pave the way for more troubles.

3. Not Giving Your Time

Guilty of being glued to your phone’s screen when your child is demanding you play with her? Got an official call and cannot listen to your child telling you about his day? Stop! Your kids don’t just need food or money from you, they want to speak to you, share their experiences, and sometimes need to hear your comforting words.

Communication is the only thing that will strengthen your bond, not expensive gifts. The deal should be, to be the parents, kids want to hug and spend time with, not the ones who are like ATM machines. Kids may inadvertently perform odd behavior to attract parents’ attention. As Jane Hull perfectly puts it, ‘At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents.

[Read: Effects Of Overprotective Parenting]

4. Over Protectiveness

Being protective of your child is a natural trait – but you should know the limits. Young babies will love the way you advocate their mischief, however, as they grow up this can be viewed as restrictive and interfering. You have projected that you will always cover up their mistakes and protect them even when they are wrong. They will eventually take you for granted and develop an arrogant attitude.

5. Modeling Inappropriate Behavior

“Each day of our lives, we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” – Charles Swindoll. The way you speak, treat your partner and elders, behave in public, at home, the words you use are all being soaked up by your kids.

If you often take your kids to a bar, drink, and abuse others, then your kids will feel that this is how they are supposed to behave too. A child looks up to their parents to understand and know how to conduct themselves- parents are a child’s first role model.

6. Partiality

It is easy to spot a child being favored over others. If you corner one kid of the lot, punish or scold him more than others, then the child will definitely be hurt. This will give rise to feelings of resentment and injustice for you.

This will later appear in the form of badmouthing of your kids as they grow up. They will simply lose their trust in you. Again, comparing your child to others will also affect them negatively, and may simply make your kid unable to take on the challenges of life. Read more about the negative effects of comparing your child.

[Read: Stop Comparing Your Child with Others]

7. Insulting Kids

Labeling kids as lazy or dumb and using these words in public can significantly hurt a child and lower their self-esteem. Likewise, if you criticize your kid’s efforts, or look down upon him by comparing them with others’ achievements, then your child may also develop feelings of jealousy and resentment.

8. Fulfilling Their Every Wish

Every parent wants the best for their child, and some can practically afford almost everything a child desires. Do you reach out of your pocket the moment your child sets eyes on a new toy or a new dress? Hold on! Buying everything your kid lays his finger on is again a sign of bad parenting. Such kids fail to understand the value of money.

They will demand anything from you anytime expecting you to present it to them, whatever your circumstances. Even after they grow up, such kids end up hopelessly on financial fronts and are unable to level responsibilities. Sometimes, this need may provoke them to steal, lie or become rude. Read here to know how to stop children from lying and stealing.

9. Interfering Too Much

Do you jump in at the very first sign that your child is in a conflict? Do you follow your child like a shadow and interfere in everything? If you try to resolve every tiff your child gets into, you are interrupting their social development. They will grow up being overly dependent on you and fail to develop the skills necessary to survive in a competitive world. Allow your kids to handle things on their own, they are capable of doing so.

10. Lack of Trust

It is not uncommon for others to complain about a child. If you believe in others’ complaints more than your kid, you are passing the signal that your child is a brute and a liar. If you turn deaf ears to your child’s explanations and pleas, your child develops insecurity and may turn into a rebel. This will result in hiding things from you and they will eventually even stop explaining themselves.

What Is The Impact Of Bad Parenting On Children?

Without positive parenting, children are more likely to experience relationship problems of their own. When children are subjected to bad parenting, they tend not to be empathic. Poor parenting can have the following negative effects on children:

Antisocial behaviors are usually the result of bad parenting practices such as parental drug abuse, maternal depression, and domestic violence.
Those parents who fail to shield their children from crises make their children incapable of dealing with an unfavorable situation and negative emotions.
Parents who have a negative approach have children who are more prone to depression. Parenting methods that contribute to depression in children include lack of emotional and physical support, harsh punishments, and inappropriate expression of negative emotions.
It has been shown that kindergarteners who have explosive anger issues often have a poor parenting experience. Infancy is a period when children are most vulnerable to negative parenting techniques like rough handling or expressing negative emotions. Aggressive nature in children is one of the negative impacts of bad parenting.

It ultimately comes down to the parents on how they raise their kids to be responsible and good citizens. In fact, many of these traits of bad parenting have a lifelong, irreversible impact on children. Watch out for the above signs and avoid them in order to support your parenting. Trust your kids, spend time with them, exchange experiences and shower your love on them. Make a move today as they will grow up quickly in no time!

It ultimately comes down to the parents on how they raise their kids to be responsible and good citizens. In fact, many of these traits of bad parenting have a lifelong irreversible impact on children. Watch out for the above signs and avoid them in order to support your parenting. Trust your kids, spend time with them, exchange experiences, and shower your love on them. Make a move today as they will be grown up quickly in no time!

Top 10 Signs of Bad Parenting

What is Bad Parenting?